My Current Struggles Will Never Define Me...
"Don't Let Struggles Define Your Path, Your Outcomes Or Your State Of Mind." Itzel Yagual
I can remember my last day of Grad school like it was yesterday. On that day, December 16th, 2011, the sun was shining, I was wearing a smile on my face from ear to ear and thinking of all the opportunities I would attain. I was so enthused, so proud of finally completing my Master's degree, which was long overdue and more importantly ready to embark on a new career! It was a beautiful moment. Sadly, the happiness went down south after 2 months when I realized that job hunting was not at all what I imagined. Even though I had completed some freelance work, have passion and are skilled in many areas the job search has been oh so difficult. I thought too that having a degree was my ticket to career stardom. Boy, was I wrong. My naive thinking made me neglect the fact that, finding a job in today's market is not only difficult but can take up to several months to find "the gig" that you're looking for. Although it has only been 3 months since I graduated- it feels like it has been an eternity. I have gone through the phases of "why me," and the common thinking of "what happened to good things come to those who wait?" At times I am filled with anger, sadness and even-hate to confess- felt like a loser. And to an even greater extreme, I have wanted to quit the job search and just call it a day.
So as you can see the jobless road has been very discouraging-to say the least. On another note, when bills are piling up, when your partner's disability payments aren't enough to get by, when you're running out of food and when you have a child to feed you have no choice and must keep moving; you have to stay positive and be an example. Despite all of this hogwash and craziness, a little voice inside me, tells me everyday.... "Never give up! You have a lot to give, a lot to offer and so much to teach others! You were placed on this world to do great things. Do not sell yourself short by throwing in the towel!!" So how do I stay focused? How do I stay optimistic? How and what motivates me to continue fighting the great fight?
There are four things in particular that I keep in mind when I'm discouraged.
1. One of them is my family= My Husband, Daughter &puppy named Blue
2. My parents (also family but living in WA state)
3. My dreams
and lastly
4. My desire to help mankind and animals
My Family: Joel, Delainey & Blue
I am happily married to a Marine Vet that attends school full time at the New York Film Academy in Los Angeles, California.
My knucklehead's name is Joel and he is a family man, a lover of art, dogs, reality TV, sports and video games. Joel, a good man with a big heart-stubborn at times-has always pushed me to be better. At times when I have doubted myself and fallen, he has picked me up and reminded me of my purpose.
My daughter Delainey, whom I love so dearly, is a picky-eating happy go-lucky 5 year old that brings nothing but joy to my life-and a few headaches from time to time. She is a blessing and also the most self-less child I have ever met. A few weeks back while my husband and I were trying to figure out our financial dilemmas, my daughter stepped out of the room and said "mom, don't worry," while holding a paper bag full of pennies, "I have money here, we can go buy food now." I wanted to cry really badly at that moment but didn't allow it. I didn't and couldn't cry because it would not be fair for my daughter. I also had no idea she overheard our conversation!! After the shock, I sucked it up and said, "That's very thoughtful honey but this is not your trouble. It's okay; you don't need to worry about these things. Dad and I take care of these things." I felt guilty really but I knew that if I gave up I would not only be doing a disservice to my husband and myself but more importantly to my daughter.
Blue on the other hand is a miracle. My blue-nosed pit of 5 months is an inspiration and a kindred soul. Despite her deformed leg, she is courageous. Although we have to rest every few minutes during walks and runs, she amazes me with all her might. Her desire to run is unbelievable! Even if she's tired, she will pull me just so she can run on one leg-trust me I don't let her.
My Parents
My mother and father have taught me a great deal in my younger days and continue to do so in this stage of my life. While she was living in the Republic of Panama, my mother dropped out of high school to help her mother raise her 6 siblings. Among poverty and other things, my mother also endured emotional abuse and had low self-esteem as a child. During her teenage years, (In Panama) women were encouraged simply to have children and care for their husbands; education was not encouraged in her environment. After she married my father, (at age 21) she dedicated her life to keeping my brother and I on the right path-away from troubles and keeping us focused on getting an education. She did a darn good job!! My brother graduated from the University of Washington in 2009 and currently works as a Computer Engineer. I obtained a Master of Science in Entertainment Business from Full Sail University this past 2011. Without her I wouldn't be here today...
My father on the other hand has always been my rock. He has proven to me that every dream is worth fighting. Even though he had a college degree, when we came to America -back in 1990-my father held every labor job you can think of just to support his family. From cleaning bathrooms to being a car sales man, my father did what every right man would do to provide for his family-even if it meant holding off on his own career goals. The last time I spoke with him he said, "I'm so proud of you. You will do great things. Never doubt your abilities." Coming from a man who often hides his emotions, I cried a little and I took his advice to heart.
Career Goals, Desire to Inspire Others & For The Love Of Pets
Last but not least are my career dreams, my inner desire to inspire others and the drive to help animals. The career of my dreams is to become a producer. I have so many ideas for reality TV, horror and action films, cartoon shows, game shows and much more. I aim to create content for TV and film. Currently I have several ideas/projects I'm working on to properly execute. Second, I love inspiring others and helping people be the best they can be-through my quotes and online messages. Lastly, I have always been a lover of dogs and in the future I plan on develop a cause to aid animals in shelters. I feel that every animal has a right to live and to live well is what I'll strive for! Prior to Blue, I had 5 dogs while I resided in Washington State. Since I couldn't bring them with me to California, the 3 that are still alive are currently residing with my parents-Mikey, Shooby and Cookie.
Below are a list of tips I use to stay motivated, stay focused and more importantly to be healthy inside and out. I encourage you try them and adopt them!
Maintaining Sanity: Address Your Emotions & The Power Of Organization
If you are feeling like hell, there is no sense in taking your anger out on others. Please address your emotions in a productive manner. From writing in a journal, to surrounding yourself with people that are supportive-and you can vent with-or doing exercise, there are many ways to address your ill feelings. Do not bottle it up! It will catch up with you sooner or later if you do not address it!
Second if you have a million things you'd like to get accomplished-interviews, projects, blogging etc.-create a "to do" list and make sure you write down the steps you will take to complete them. The more you are organized the less anxiety you will have. In addition to this, you will regain a sense of control and satisfaction= inner peace.
Slapping The BS As It Hits Your Way
There is nothing more tedious than to be bombarded by someone's heartless comments and ill will.
Don't you just hate it when you are having a bad day to start with and all of a sudden it's topped off by someone's actions or obnoxious comments? OMG, this has happened to me before and not just once. All you need to do is, ignore it!! If this person continues with their rubbish simply end all ties. Whether it's blocking them online or telling them to stop calling you, you must end all ties. A healthy lifestyle involves peace and sanity-you don't need people like that in your life-via online or offline.
Count Your Blessings And Know You Are Not Alone
It is easy to get bogged down when you are faced with struggle after struggle. Please know that you are not alone. Despite whatever situation life throws at you, you cannot simply say, "okay I'm done with it." Stay strong and believe that things will get better. When you stop believing, things will only get worse.
Lastly, always count your blessings. Little things such as having people who love you, being skilled in an area others are not and having good health are things that some people don't have; you should always be grateful no matter what. So I share this personal story not to tell you that my struggles are harder than yours or to receive pity. I tell you my personal story so that you pick up your faith and wear it proudly, to help you get off your rear and continue fighting for your dreams!! I'm not giving up and neither should you!!
P.S.
Message To Those That Have Jobs They Love Or Hate....
If you are not in a similar situation and have a job that you truly love, please be thankful! And if you have a job and hate it, leave it for your sanity and seek happiness in another profession-it is not worth it. If you can't afford to do so, suck it up until you find a better opportunity; do what you have to do, to survive until you find a replacement.
For those of you that are in a similar situation like mine please do not give up, keep hope alive and the rest will follow....
For those of you that are in a similar situation like mine please do not give up, keep hope alive and the rest will follow....
Yours Truly,
Itzel Yagual










